Complaining Is Not Free
Complaining Will Cost You Time, Money, Energy and Relationships
People hear me say this a lot because it is so crucial to remember. Please write it down and hang it up by your bathroom mirror and next to your computer, or on your fridge. Energy goes where attention goes and what you focus on expands. let me say it again, Energy goes where attention goes and what you focus on expands. Anything you continue to saturate with your energy gets amplified and sometimes multiplied. This applies to all situations, whether positive or negative.
In terms of distributing my energy I have two sayings that I use to remind myself how powerful my own energy is. The first is, “If you want to enlarge it than charge it, if you to release it than deplete it.” And the second goes like this. “If you want it to grow then increase the flow, if you want it to cease than you must decrease.” The best way to manage your life is to manage your energy. In life, everything matters. Everything you think, say and do as well as everything you don’t think, say and do. Everything matters.
Understand that if you can take time gripe, moan and complain about something then you can take the time needed to do something about it. In the regards to the Law of Attraction, what you focus on expands and grows. If all you do is complain about the things that make you miserable, what are you growing? You’re focusing on what is wrong with your life and therefore you keep reinforcing those same neural pathways in your brain that got you into your current state of misery.
I call this a rut and being in a rut is no fun. The only difference between a bad, ugly rut in your brain and a burial site at your local graveyard, are the dimensions. You have to stop blaming, justifying and complaining. It will only bring you more of what you don’t want. People who complain are like a boiling tea pot. When it starts whistling you go and turn it off because if you have to keep listening to it, you will go nuts. Nobody wants to listen to that for very long. Too much complaining can actually drive good people out of your life.
If Your Busy Complaining About Life, Then You’re Not Living Life
Spend your time thinking about what you want. Thinking about the reality you want to create. Think about what you want at least three times a day and imagine what it would feel like to already be living in that moment and experiencing what you want achieve. Flood your conscious mind with images of your new reality and include all of your senses if possible such as sounds, smells, tastes, and touch. The more emotionally charged your visualization exercise is the faster you will see results.
Spending today complaining about yesterday, won’t make tomorrow any better. Comparing and complaining is the attitude of a person who does not feel satisfaction in life. In order to complain about something, you have to believe that something better exists. Focus your belief on the better side of things, and better will come. The process of creation is always taking place in your mind. The question you have to keep asking yourself is what am I creating. or what am I unconsciously allowing to be created.
If your busy complaining about life, then you’re not living life. You can only complain about something that has already passed you by. Therefore; if you are complaining then your living in the past and your robbing yourself of the present. And that is where all your power is…waiting for you. You’ve heard the quote “Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history and today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present” It’s not just a quote it’s great advice. Think of today as a gift and treasure it. Anything else is a waste.
You’re Not Complaining If You Paying Someone to Listen
You have to intentionally make life happen for you, or life will happen to you. You either make it happen or you let it happen. You can create life’s circumstances or life will create circumstances for you, without your permission and those circumstances will dictate your life. My psychology professor said four words to me that changed my life. He said; You create it all. I remind myself often by saying to myself. If happiness is to be, then it’s up to me. I have the power to choose. You get to choose happiness or misery? Here is another great tip. Pain in life is inevitable but misery is optional. The choice is totally up to you.
If your expressing your discontents to a life coach, a counselor or mentor in an effort to process yourself through the perceived effects of a life event, that is not complaining. If you’re talking about what is going wrong in your life with the goal of finding a solution to resolve an issue, that is not complaining. The great thing about talking to these types of people is because they only offer controlled sessions. They limit the amount of time you can spend living in the past, and when the session is over they can help bring you back to living in the present.
Talking about people behind their back does not benefit them, it does not benefit you nor does it benefit the person you are complaining too. Three people are now suffering because of one person’s actions, the actions of the person doing the complaining.
Great people spend time discussing ideas, average people use too much time talking about events, small people are insecure and make themselves feel bigger by making others look smaller. And there is another step down called tiny people. These people love to spend their time talking about themselves. I do recommend that small people and tiny people talk to someone but I recommend they talk to someone who is being paid to help them work through their own issues and become greater people. Most small people and tiny people hang around other small and tiny people. The best thing they can do is break free from that bondage and surround themselves with great people, happy people, people who live to lift other people up rather than tear them down.
Chronic complainers are known as energy zappers. They are like blood sucking vampires except the are not sucking your blood, they are sucking your energy. If you spend too much time around them they can drain you. Pretty soon you begin to distance yourself from them and eventually avoid them all together. And if you do not distance yourself from them, they can easily rub off on you.
Control Your Environment or Become the Subject of Its Conditioning
Every cell in your body has two membranes, one membrane is looking into the cell and the other is looking outside the cell. These two membranes communicate with each other. Estimates vary but the latest research suggests that your body is a community of about 50 trillion cells. These cells not only talk to themselves, they also talk to each other. The cells inside your body talk to each other and one of the many things they talk back and forth about is what’s going on in the outside world. Continuous exposer to the same environments condition the cells in your body to replicate characteristics of the environment and then they become habitual behaviors. Pretty soon you and the people you contribute the most time to, become birds of look-alike feathers, flocking together. The quality of your environment determines the quality of your life. The good news is that you can control your environment. The bad news is that if you choose not to control your environment, you will be voluntarily subjecting yourself to its conditioning. Be cautious of who and what you surround yourself with.
The best way to lose sight of complaining is to bring something better into view. Successful people replace complaining with gratitude. Like the ancient proverb says. Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.
The 9 Most Pointed Clues That You Complain Too Much
People who use to comment on your social media posts are no longer commenting.
Friends start blocking you on social media sites.
A friend or family member you use to hang out with is now too busy doing other things.
You find out that get-togethers are happening, but they are happening without you.
People stop offering advice because they feel you never apply it.
People actually tell you that you complain too much.
Friends and family are slow to respond or do not reply at all to your text messages.
People who use to take your calls are now sending you to voice mail.
Coworkers avoid going to lunch with you.
The more you waste grumbling complaining about things, the more of those things you will have to grumble and complain about. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be broken by intention and action in the opposite direction of negativity. If you’re not happy about something than change it. It’s impossible to complain and appreciate at the same time. Therefore, it would serve you greatly if you spent less time complaining and more time appreciating. There are a lot of people who create the conditions for their own storms of life but then they get upset when a cloudy overcast starts to hover over them. Others see them coming so they move away to avoid the rain or even worse, getting caught in a storm. Complaining is toxic. Here is a great tool that will enable you to avoid being part of the blamers, shamers, judgers, and complainers club.
Change The Way You Think
Change the way you think during interactions with others. Think about it before you talk about it. When you alter, or change the way you think about a thing, the thing you think about changes. One of the habits I use to help me is to look at the word think as an acronym. Here is what T.H.I.N.K. stands for, and this is how you think about it before you speak about it.
T – Is it Truthful
H – Is it Helpful to others
I – Will it Inspire
N – Is it Necessary
K – Is it Kind
Think of this acronym as your filter. If you take time to put everything your thinking of saying through this filter, you will soon discover what I call blooming magnificence. You will see it more often in yourself and the more often you see it in yourself, the more often you will see it in others.
THREE MORE TIPS
These Will Enable You to Better Manage Your Thoughts, Your Energy and Your Emotions.
Allow Yourself to Vent Only Within a Managed Time Frame
The key to happiness is learning to living in the moment. But when you feel the need to revisit the past, let me recommend some guiding advice. When you leave the present and visit the past, it should be during a specific time frame of an hour or less. You only go there to process your feelings and bring things back to the present that will benefit you and help you live your best life in the here and now. Ideally when you go into the past I recommend that it be a journey guided by a coach or counselor. If you go there alone it’s easy to stay longer than you should and harder to come back. Spending too much time in the past by your lonesome is cause for depression and all sorts of other unhealthy outcomes. If you must talk to your friends be sure it’s in confidence with someone who is very wise and trustworthy. Also remember that frequency develops patterns that are hard to break. Only look back when absolutely necessary for the purpose of feedback and remember this little poem I wrote. It helps me avoid complaining and scaring my friends and family away.
If you want to verbalize what you have internalized without being chastised than compromise, and realize if your wise you will not overemphasize but downsize and minimize the size of time you utilize to depressurize and stabilize yourself without paralyzing others. This turns things clockwise and you win the prize, no more sighs because people become your allies. Now your relationships are not bite size they are full-size and full of surprise, you can now sleep in peace while your mind, your body and your spirit actualize, revitalize, reenergize and optimize for the next sunrise.
Attitude Is Everything
Your attitude sets the tone for your environment and it also effects the environment of those around you. Your attitude is the central hub from which everything else takes on the overtones that work for you or work against you. By everything else I mean, you’re thinking, your choice of words, your tone of voice and everything else that defines who you are in any given moment. It all stems from your attitude. Having a positive mental attitude is the conduit through which all great things flow. Be conscious of the fact that you can’t be positive and negative in the same moment at the exact same time. It’s impossible for a positive attitude and a negative attitude to occupy the same space at the same time. Your attitude is one of the few things in life that you actually have complete control over if elect to do so.
Energy Goes Where Attention Goes
I know this is redundant but it’s necessary. Focus more on what you want and by default you will focus less on what you don’t want. Think about what you want more of, not what you want less of. Rather than wasting your time trying not to be negative. Spend your time being positive. If your giving your energy to being positive, you are simultaneously taking energy away from being negative. As I keep reiterating, your mind can’t hold a positive thought and negative thought at the same time. Only one of them gets to win. You get to choose.
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Daniel Gleed is a Success Coach to the International community. He is the founder of Success YOUniversity and the Author of Success Leaves Clues. He is a leading authority on Leadership strategies, reaching pinnacles of performance, and tactics for super success in business and in life. If you're ready to take success to a whole new level. Further enrich your life, make more money, and experience more fun on the outside as well as more joy on the inside. Go to DanielGleed.com
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